You may have heard the term "codependent" and may have also heard or assumed that it was related to substance addiction. Well, that is half right. It is an ultimately destructive process, but not necessarily involving substances such as alcohol or drugs.
It is more clearly defined as an addictive behavior pattern that employs subtle and varied methods of controlling others to get our needs met.
It is a complex subject, a full exploration of which is beyond the scope of this writing, but suffice it to say, it is difficult to see the elements of codependence in our own behavior. So, if someone close to you, such as a friend or spouse has suggested you may be codependent, chances are they see something you do not and their suggestion should be considered well meaning and perhaps worthy of your investigation.
One very popular and helpful resource on the subject is the book: "Codependent No More" - How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie. Additionally, there are many resources on the internet you may wish to peruse before investing in a book.
But I bought and read this book many years ago and ended up highlighting almost every page, as there were so many insidious patterns described there that I saw in myself. It was painful to learn how I had damaged my past relationships, but that was also the moment that my healing began.
Think about it!
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