Happiness Depends on Making the Right Choices

It may seem unknowable, what the right choices are today, as their propriety is often more clear in the rear view mirror. But there are ways to evaluate the suitability of a choice, before you make it; which is important, because doing so may have a positive effect on other events in your life and open you up to opportunities which are more suited to your needs and personality. 

We humans like to think of ourselves as primarily intellectual creatures, but honestly, we are more likely to act on impulses resulting from our emotions, than upon reason. Our cerebral cortex, which has evolved over hundreds of thousands of years is indeed the most complex structure in the known universe and is capable of amazing feats of creativity and skill. But a more primitive, yet in many ways, more powerful motivator is our brain stem and limbic system. This was a feature of our lineage, since before our ancestors walked upright and serves as our early warning and survival mechanism, alerting us to danger; keeping us on the lookout for sexual partners and giving us the strength to fight or run, depending on what challenges we may encounter. So often, choices are made here, before we have a chance use to our higher intellect to evaluate their suitability. Have you ever said "YES!", to a shiny red sports car, only to later decide that it's impractical and too expensive? 

Your first decision may result from fear or passion, (as in losing out on a presumed unique opportunity). Salespeople seize upon this fear when they try to compel you with phrases like: "tomorrow, the price will go up", or "this special deal is only available today!" However, a seasoned sales professional would truthfully prefer to know you've had time to consider your options and decide in favor of a given offer, rather than trying to back out after feeling pressured to sign on the dotted line. 

Sex is also an area where people are likely to make poorly considered decisions that can have far reaching effects on the rest of their lives. Women are much more likely to put on the brakes, preferring to take time for some kind of relationship to develop before diving into intimacy, and this is one of the areas where men could learn a thing or two from women. But the drive to procreate is so powerful, that the rational mind is forced into submission a by our hormonally driven impulses, and then for so many incompatible couples, pregnancy comes as an unwelcome surprise, which not only affects the lives of the two adults involved, but also any future children that might result from that union. 

So, when it comes to evaluating your options, time is your friend. When faced with a choice, even something as seemingly innocuous as a sarcastic remark at someone else's expense, consider how it may be received and perceived. Opening your mouth, before your brain is in gear can hurt others or damage your reputation, neither of which is a desirable outcome. If the stakes are higher, it is even more important to take the necessary time to contemplate various outcomes. Take actions to calm your emotions, thereby allowing the wisdom of your deeper subconscious to be heard. Engage in a menial task, that doesn't require much mental processing: clean the house; rake leaves; organize the garage. The semi-mindless movement will stimulate thought and put you in touch with areas of your mind involved in reasoning. Ideally, a conversation will begin, revealing competing scenarios  and perspectives; our past experiences and beliefs about human nature and fate will come into play, tugging us in one direction and then another, until eventually, we arrive at a better understanding of our options and the possible ramifications they entail. 

Sometimes, it is true, that there are no "good" choices. You may only have undesirable options and have to choose between them. Again, your emotions may lead you in the wrong direction, especially if you are attached to or obsessed by a particular outcome. In spite of all evidence to the contrary, your mind will search for another impossible solution to lessen the impact of the inevitable change you are facing. This is when you need to step outside yourself. Imagine a friend comes to you with this same conundrum, what would you tell him? This is the objective position you need to take to see things more clearly and choose correctly. 

Impulsiveness is essential when you're being chased by a bear. As the saying goes: "the lack of options clears the mind". But in most other things, taking the necessary time to weigh benefits and risks will result in better decisions. Certainly, there are exceptions, such as where a snap judgement landed someone a killer job, or when you regret not putting someone in their place, when you had the chance. No one will really know what might have happened if you had journeyed down the road not taken. But the benefit of not having to live with the consequences of a bad decision is a much better strategy for creating happiness then relying on the unlikely positive outcome of an ill-considered action. 

Until a time machine is invented that allows us to undo our mistakes, every decision and action we take,  will slowly alter the course of our lives and that of those we love. Everything matters! Remember that and every day will be the best it can possibly be.