The degree to which you find this balance is one factor in creating a sustainably happy life. Giving unconditionally, as a life strategy may sound noble, but it's foolish and counterproductive. On the other hand, thinking only of your own needs makes you unattractive as a friend or partner. So figuring out how to maintain equality between these seemingly paradoxical poles takes time and practice.
Ultimately the mature person is able to be caring and generous and still state and assert his or her own needs with different people and in different situations without anxiety, shame or guilt. And when our needs are continually in conflict with the needs of someone we are involved with, that is the definition of a "toxic relationship".
Recognize the futility of it and move on, because the constant stress will not only rob you of happiness but will also impact your health.
Take time to learn your particular style of giving and receiving and surround yourself with people who maintain a similar balance. This will help you find and live in greater harmony.
-S.E. Mathias
If you enjoyed the forgoing content, please feel free to comment and to share it with your friends and family. And stay tuned for my upcoming book: "The Happiness Tree", due out this year.
