Having a healthy relationship with yourself is a critical part of developing a strong foundation from which your Happiness can flourish. And those who come to understand their dual nature (self and SELF) are ultimately better equipped to experience happiness regardless of their circumstances.
What do I mean by self and SELF?
It is interesting to observe that in the English speaking world, there is one word "I" which refers to the totality of our existence. Whereas in many older cultures, individuals refer to themselves in the "second person", as if they were talking about someone outside their physical body: someone we will refer to as the "SELF".
For an example the Spanish phrase "a mi, me gusta", means literally, "to me, I like it", as if to say the person that I refer to as "me", likes something.
And while this just may seem like an idiosyncratic difference between languages, it actually points out an important element in the dual perception of "self" and "SELF", that is missing in our increasingly "independent" society.
It's ironic, that today, in the U.S. where the standard of living is among the highest in the world, the number of those afflicted with depression are at epidemic levels. How did this happen? Our fast-paced, largely independent and attainment driven culture has led many of us to believe that happiness arises from our social status and what we own, rather than our strength of character and level of SELF awareness.
I have experienced on many occasions, while viewing a documentary or travel show based on some "3rd World" destination, a sense of wonder at how the impoverished inhabitants of these lands were not sad or miserable, but rather, often smiled and laughed, able to find true satisfaction in their lives, in spite of the harshness of their existence.
Then, I came to realize that the quality and richness of their deeper, "internal life" the life of the SELF, (comprised of skills, wisdom, relationships and connection to Spirit), represented a wealth which no amount of money could buy and no depth of poverty could destroy. Because in the midst of their many challenges, it was their connection to the deeper "Inner Self" and "Sense of Purpose", which truly sustained them.
Therefore, the characteristic that allows for greater satisfaction and emotional health in these older societies is the ability to view one's physical life as a separate entity from the spiritual one. And by spiritual, I don't necessarily mean religious, although certainly religion is one very common path to experiencing a Spiritual connection.
Having this dual perspective of self and SELF allows one to be much more philosophical about matters related to the physical world and what happens here. Issues of illness, poverty, social upheaval and loss may impact our physical presence (our self) and our terrestrial existence, but the core; the deep spiritual "SELF" remains intact, connected to the mysterious web of life and humanity that forms a more profound connection, our true source of gratitude and joy.
That is not to say that we should abdicate control of our lives to some unseen force. Maintaining involvement in how events play out in our physical life is extremely important, but unfortunately, there are many factors that are beyond our control.
And when failure or loss strike, having a sense of being firmly rooted in a core, internal SELF, helps us weather the inevitable ups and downs and eventually bounce back, rather than spiraling downward into a vortex of fear and despair.
When we define our lives by "who we are" rather than "what happens to us", our Happiness Tree becomes much stronger, less vulnerable to the shifting winds of fate.
When "I" represents something or someone deeper and more profound than the events in our lives; something that is indestructible, inherent in that, is a resilience that carries us through and buoys our optimism.
A core belief that the events we encounter are merely life lessons, designed to broaden our wisdom, awareness and personal power.
-S.E. Mathias
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- Shane
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