It is the rare individual indeed who has reached adulthood and not experienced something traumatic, inspiring, humbling, or life-affirming. And yet, the vast majority of these powerful stories are never told. Many are the people who might find solace in the words of someone who can see the world through their lens.
We live in an age where information is everywhere. We are perhaps the most well informed society in history. But have we become wiser and more empathetic as a result? Perhaps not. Which is more important. information or self knowledge?
The breadth of human experience is limitless and within that universal spectrum of possibilities are incredible stories of achievement, tragedy, love, loss, success and abject poverty that deserve to be told. So many of you search for a purpose, a reason to exist. You search your soul for what you might have to offer your fellow man or woman, assuming it will be some as yet unrealized talent or skill. Yet you overlook what is right under your nose, the story of the very life you have lived or are now living. And it silently begs to be revealed.
Perhaps helping others is not currently on your agenda. You’ve reached a dead end, the path ahead seems dark and foreboding. Maybe you lack confidence, you’re not good with people, you have a disability or something about your appearance that causes you to avoid human contact.
You feel stuck and wrack your brain for a way out of this conundrum, but come up empty. What’s the solution? Write!
Are you the one who was on top of the world? Maybe you had the best job, the greatest lover, the most loving family and everything you touched seemed to turn to gold and then one day, it was all taken away. A terrible accident; your partner left or died suddenly; a natural disaster or insurgent uprising tore your family apart and loved ones were lost forever; your world was rocked by a frightening diagnosis; you made a terrible mistake and lost your job, or you became collateral damage in the ebb and flow of capricious economic cycles. How can you recover? How can reassembling the rubble of your past lead to finding a meaningful way forward? Write!
It seems too easy. I can hear your doubting Thomas saying, “nothing so simple as writing can heal this wound, or take away this pain”. Ahh, but it’s not simple and it’s not easy: it takes a lot of difficult and sometimes painful introspection to unravel and then articulate the ball of confusing emotions pent up inside of you. I guarantee you will open the computer or place a piece of paper in front of you and stare at the empty space for a while… perhaps a long while, before anything emerges.
If you’re lucky, your story will be perched precipitously on the edge of your fingertips and you won’t be able to keep up with the explosive flow of ideas emanating from within you. But that is rare. More than likely, you have spent years suppressing your story, rejecting it, trying to ignore or obliterate it from from your mind. But the tendrils of that amorphous mass of emotions has wriggled into your DNA. In spite of your heroic efforts to outrun it, it remains part of you and will not find peace until it sees the light of day.
Expression is the solution, rather than expulsion. Accept what has happened to you and celebrate that by some twist of fate, you are still here to tell your story. You not only have a need to do it, you have a responsibility. Someone out there needs the other half of the key that you hold. Yes, your story is unique, but not so unique that perhaps thousands of other people might find liberation though hearing how you dealt with elements of your personal struggle.
Ultimately, the most powerful tool for dealing with every day life is self knowledge. And there is no better way to access that repository of wisdom than through writing. Chances are you don’t need therapy, you don’t need a pill, you don’t need a bottle to make it though the day… you need a purpose. Slow down, sit down and pick up the mantle of the warrior waiting inside of you. It is said: “the pen is mightier than the sword:, that is true whether it be in dealing with interlopers from without or demons from within. Begin today, right now if possible. Don’t procrastinate. Just do it!
How to Begin
OK, we’ve covered why you should write, now it’s time to discover how. Where do you start? The most fundamental principle is to have a comfortable place and posture. By that I mean that especially when you’re starting out, it’s important to have good support for your body and quiet for your mind. A favorite chair or sofa that is firm, but not hard will reduce the fatigue associated with sitting in one position for an extended period. Pick a time every day or several times a week that works well with your schedule. Of course, responsibilities have to come first, but either before or after that, carve out time in your day for you.
I don’t like to use a pen or pencil. My writing is illegible and my hand gets tired. Fortunately, I learned how to type at an early age and adapted well to writing on the computer. You have to find what works for you. Ultimately, the computer is the preferred platform, because if you choose to send your works to someone, it’s as easy as a click. Additionally, you may choose to publish your writing on the web in the form of a blog like this one and having already saved your thoughts in a digital form makes that much easier. But the most important thing is just to start writing, regardless of the way you do it.
What to Write About
We discussed earlier how you life experiences can be mined for tantalizing stories, but maybe you’re one of the rare and fortunate individuals who is happy and well-adjusted. You are reconciled with your past, your present life is for the most part pleasurable and your future seems well in hand. Good for you! What contribution can you make? Chances are there is a secret to the settled life that you lead. Do you have a favorite hobby, do you volunteer for a special cause, are you able to travel? If so, where have you gone and what have you seen? If you say “I have nothing to write about”, I say, you’re not using your imagination.
Don’t worry too much about a structure at first. You need to develop the discipline of writing and your “inner voice” and that will just take time and practice. Allow the thoughts to be “downloaded” from your mind in a process we will call “stream of consciousness”. Write several paragraphs and then read them over to better understand what you’ve written.
It may seem odd, but writing and understanding are not the same. It is almost as if your subconscious dumps the raw emotions and ideas on to the paper or computer and then your analytical mind endeavors to make sense of them. Don’t worry too much about grammatical correctness or syntax, just try to ensure that the paragraphs link up somewhat, to develop a flow of ideas, rather than leaping from one subject to another. There will be time later to correct and refine the work into something you can be proud of.
Once you’ve decided what story you want to tell, try to identify several themes within that story that will form the various chapters. For an example: if you wished to tell people about your experiences volunteering in Africa, helping displaced families find food, water and housing, your list of chapters might read like this:
1. MY LIFE BEFORE AFRICA
2. THE DAY EVERYTHING CHANGED
3. THE HISTORY
4. THE PEOPLE
5. THE CRISIS
6. DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE
7. WHERE WE ARE TODAY
8. THE CHALLENGES GOING FORWARD
9. HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
10. MY LIFE AFTER AFRICA
This would make a great book! I’ll bet you’d like to read it now, based on the interesting chapter headings. This could be your book, but instead of Africa, maybe you’d discuss your challenges with overcoming a disease and the current state of research into a cure, etc. Or maybe your story would be about winning the lottery and how ironically, all that money solves some problems but creates many more. You catch my drift. The possibilities are limitless, as broad as the palette of human experience.
Turning your story into a book
OK, hold on partner, you’re not ready for that quite yet. Don’t focus on the result, concentrate on finding your inner voice and refining it into a crystal clear message for yourself as well as your future readers. But you’ve set the goal of getting your story to a wide audience, through publishing a book.
Now when people ask “what do you do?” you can truly say “I am writing a book”.
It may take six months, it may take ten years, but you are on the path. Doesn’t it feel great? Stick with it and you will get there.
Happy writing!
-S.E. Mathias
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