Happiness Tree

Down and Out in Beverly Hills - An Unexpected Adventure

It was a beautiful Fall day last week. We decided to take a drive up to Beverly Hills, take in the sights along the celebrated Rodeo Drive, where the movie “Pretty Woman” was filmed and the three block “epicenter of luxury, fashion and lifestyle”, as their website states.

Our first encounter with the neighborhood began when we looked for a parking space. We noticed signs warning that only residents or people with special permits could park along the tree lined streets, festooned by multimillion dollar homes. We inquired of a nice gentleman, waiting outside for a friend to arrive and he confirmed that visitors to the neighborhood could not leave their vehicle without written permission from one of the surrounding owners.

As we searched for other parking options, we imagined a local tycoon, in a Ferrari, speeding down one of the streets, narrowly missing another vehicle, where upon the angered motorist might yell “hey, do you think you own the damn road?” to which the well-healed resident would smugly respond, “well, in fact I do”

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We passed several streets with affluent sounding names like Roxbury Drive and Brighton Way, but one corner stuck in our minds, the intersection of Gregory Way and Peck Drive. The handsome and distinguished actor Gregory Peck lived in Beverly Hills with his wife Veronica for over 30 years, until his passing in 2003. It seemed only right that he should receive just such a designation.

I parked our vehicle, making a mental note of that very corner, so we could later find the car, after a long afternoon of perusing shops and sampling local cuisine. We walked briskly in the cold air toward our destination, not knowing what we would find there.

I lived in Los Angeles long ago, but seemed always too busy to take in the finer side of the city. So though I may have passed Rodeo Drive on many occasions over the years, this was the first time I allowed myself time to take a leisurely stroll through this fashionable paradise.

When we arrived, we were greeted by the absolute grandeur you would expect from one of the most exclusive shopping areas in the world. Giant Christmas trees, brilliantly decorated and sparkling with crystal elegance; carolers singing for passers by; huge windows and small alcoves, welcoming patrons in to sample their finest items. But in spite of the opulent, upper-crust appearance of Rodeo Drive, we found store owners and everyone we encountered to be exceptionally down to earth, affable and warm.

We walked around until well after dark and decided it was time to begin our 3 hour drive home. We meandered back using our original path, eventually arriving again at the memorable corner of Gregory Way and Peck Drive, but our car was no where to be found. It was dark and cold and yet there we stood, at the end of a perfect day, contemplating the possibility that our car had been stolen. Maybe we remembered the car’s location incorrectly. But I was so sure!

The temperature was dropping, our energy was waning and our anxiety was building. What should we do? Call the police? Put ourselves at the mercy of the very institution responsible for keep throngs of visitors from dominating the city's valuable curb space? But what other choice did we have? Maybe the car had indeed been stolen, in which case calling 911 would be the appropriate action. And so I did.

 

By entering 911 on my cell phone, I was immediately connected to the Beverly Hills Police Department. We provided our name, the make and model of the vehicle and our current location to the 'watch commander' and literally, no more than 2 minutes later, Officer Brian Horst appeared on the scene. He told us from his earlier experience, working in East L.A. where car thefts were a daily occurrence, that our particular vehicle would be hard to steal. So we had probably misplaced it. He asked for the key fob and requested we wait, as he drove around, pressing the alarm button in the hope that our car would sound off. He returned several minutes later, saying he hadn’t found the vehicle. We were obviously distressed to hear that, but he requested more information and decided to take a second pass.

There we waited, becoming a spectacle in this understandably watchful neighborhood. I began to plan how we would get home. Maybe AAA would help us rent a car, or maybe we’d stay the night in Beverly Hills. Then I thought, "Oh wait, it’s Beverly Hills! I don’t think I have enough in my bank account or on my credit card to cover even one night". The more I pondered, the fewer choices I realized we had.

Suddenly, officer Horst appeared again, lights flashing and uttering the words we longed to hear over his loud speaker:

"I found it!"

We jumped for joy, like a couple of kids, pumping our fists in the air with glee. 

It turns out that Beverly Hills had charmed us into an altered state, such that, starry eyed, we had parked a block West of that fateful corner, the truth obscured by visions of Gregory Peck walking along the very same sidewalks, proudly admiring his name memorialized in those street signs. But that is not the real story.

The real story is Officer Horst. Once our emergency had passed and we knew where our car was parked, we turned our attention to this friendly hero who had saved our day. He hopped out of the car and into the beam of a nearby street light, to chat a bit before we parted ways.

He was a fresh faced young man who would have looked more at home in a Nordstrom ad than a police car. His broad smile and easy manner was immediately disarming. So much in contrast to the treatment our men in blue receive in the media now-a-days. Abuse of power, misconduct, aggressive tactics and corruption are the key phrases we now often associate with the very force charged with our protection.

It’s easy to forget that these are men and women, not unlike ourselves. They have chosen a life of service and in so doing, place themselves in harm's way every day. As casual observers, it’s so easy to point fingers and find fault. But who among us could face down a potential killer and maintain our composure?

Officer Horst told us that the suicide rate within the U.S. police forces are among the highest of any profession. Divorce and depression are also at epidemic levels and yet, as our world continues to become increasingly dangerous and as we place even more responsibilities in their hands, some resilient souls like this young man still manage to bring relief to our hearts and a smile to our faces.

We shook hands, exchanged holiday greetings and went our separate ways. But from this day forward, we will not forget the young knight who saved a couple, lost in the wilderness of Beverly Hills.

 

Shane Eric Mathias is the author of the ground breaking new book:

The Happiness Tree, now available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

To contact the author for speaking engagements, copies or to obtain donated books for fundraising or humanitarian purposes, please email Shane at:

Email: Shane Eric Mathias 

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This inspiring work demonstrates that Love, Health, Freedom and Purpose are the essential pillars of a functional and happy life: like the limbs of a tree which must be nourished and shaped as we evolve. Strengthening and balancing these critical areas leads to Self Mastery, the only true path to success in anything. 

As a scientist, I was taught a solution exists for every problem and achieving greater life satisfaction was my personal challenge. Using myself as a sort of laboratory, I developed a dynamic flow chart detailing all areas of my life, revealing where certain aspects were weak or missing all together. This strategy led me toward establishing and attaining amazing goals in a short time. Now I wish to share these incredible tools with you, in ‘The Happiness Tree'.

Readers will learn that personal empowerment is everyone’s birthright and well within their grasp. I explain in detail how to master their relationships, health creativity and connection to Nature through simple lifestyle modifications.

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Shane Eric Mathias
www.happinesstree.com
[email protected]

Please feel free to send questions or comments to my email or by Facebook

 

 

 

To Remain Safe, We Must Evolve With The Times

I cannot authentically write about the struggle for happiness without acknowledging the evil that threatens to challenge it every day.

Yes, I am speaking the ongoing and increasing number of mass shootings that are dominating the news and haunting our thoughts. 

It has been said that Americans appear to have a tolerance for these unspeakable horrors, because in spite of the tragic loss of life and the many families and communities that are affected, life goes on as usual. But what choice do we have? I am sure, like me, many of you are wracking your brain, trying first to understand the twisted logic of individuals and groups that support and carry out these murderous rampages and of course, again like me, no answers emerge. 

 

No one with empathy, integrity and a belief in the sanctity of life, can begin to understand the level of disconnection necessary to mow down men, women and children in cold blood. These are barbaric, cowardly, disgusting, macabre acts of insanity and they must be stopped, but how? No, neither Americans nor the citizens of any other country have a tolerance for murder. But in the face of a conundrum that appears to have no end and no solution, our brains have a built in decoupling mechanism.

We cannot become paralyzed by fear, hatred or frustration to the extent that we’re unable to function, so we compartmentalize. We store away that which we’re unable to process, in some dark recess of our consciousness for later digestion. But, before we can revisit it and find something resembling closure, yet another mass shooting has transpired. 

Probably like you, I have listened to many intelligent leaders from various disciplines, psychologists, politicians and military historians and no one can explain with any degree of satisfaction, what happens in the mind of a mass murderer. In some cases, where religious extremism is involved, the term “radicalization” is used, but what does that really mean? One day, you’re a mother, nursing your baby and the next day, you commit an act of murder / suicide, leaving behind your child, family, community? 

Back in the 60’s, we used to call to anyone advocating an end to the Vietnam war, or who espoused and aspired to communist ideals as “radicals”. But these were not killers! These were individuals with ideas that were not mainstream, but that nonetheless, had a right to air their views under the 1st Amendment. Some even went to jail for a time, arrested for organizing and or participating in protests that became violent. But it was not their intent to kill indiscriminately. Yes, some did die as a result of social upheaval, but those that participated had a message. Whether it was to end the war, extend fair treatment to minorities, increase pay and benefits for the middle class, whatever, though many disagreed with their methods, maybe even their message, at least their passion could be understood by and articulated to the masses. 

No these are not radicals, as they have no message! They have no vision for a better society: to raise certain individuals out of poverty or to make quality healthcare accessible to everyone. Their entire reason to exist has been reduced to acts of terror that have no motive other than to kill as many as possible. To call these monsters animals is to give animals a bad name. The only way to describe and view them is as human shells. Apparitions, that though appearing mortal, have died from the inside out and now seek to die physically in an act of spectacular horror that resembles their nihilistic, apocalyptic concept of creation. 

But this is not just a just a recent development, nor one that can only be pinned only on one religious or cultural group. This is a societal epidemic that has been brewing for some time and involves a variety of individuals from a diverse background. See below

List of mass killings

Many perpetrators are found to have had a history of depression and taking or just having ceased taking psychotropic drugs.

A contagion-like effect that predisposes unstable individuals to commit mass shootings within 2 weeks of having witnessed one on television has also been noted. 

Other profiles of mass killings: More than half of the cases involved school or workplace shootings (12 and 20, respectively); the other 30 cases took place in locations including shopping malls, restaurants, and religious and government buildings. Forty-four of the killers were white males. Only one was a woman. (See Goleta, Calif., in 2006.) The average age of the killers was 35, though the youngest among them was a mere 11 years old. (See Jonesboro, Ark., in 1998.) A majority were mentally troubled—and many displayed signs of mental health problems before setting out to kill.

See article

In conclusion, how then can we who remain begin to cope with this evolving reality?

Each time another one of these incidents happen, the harangue for gun control begins again. I am philosophically split on the issue, I can see merit to both sides of the argument. But one fact has emerged which tends to make me believe tighter gun control alone will not solve this problem: There are between 300-320 million guns already in circulation in the United States. Basically one for every man, woman and child. Even if we could magically stop all “legal” gun sales, there are more than enough units available to any aspiring evildoer. Bare in mind, the latest shooting in San Bernardino was carried out with guns acquired from a friend of the perpetrator. They were originally purchased legally over three years ago, by that individual. 

We have to change our behavior! Yes, it’s unfortunate, but true: though we want to continue living “normally”, by doing so, we make ourselves a target. Ah, but I can hear the nay-sayers who will protest that by altering our activities, we are essentially living out of fear. Folks! To say we’re not all afraid is to be in denial. Fear is a normal and appropriate response to these events. And it is useful, because it motivates us to do something to feel more in control, less vulnerable while we work on long term solutions. And this will get solved. History teaches us that societal trends come and go. This is a particularly pernicious one indeed, but it will eventually burn out. In the meantime, we just have to adapt and wait.

Here is what I propose: 

1. Avoid gathering in groups -

Shopping malls, clubs, theaters, restaurants, fairs, parties, etc. Any event that occurring in a public venue with more than 20 or 30 individuals should be avoided. This will be a big adjustment and one that may have a substantial impact on the entertainment industry, but it is necessary. Some venues of course cannot be avoided, such as schools, airports, train stations and places of employment, and security for these facilities should be increased substantially. But where recreation and festivities are concerned, individuals and families should return to meeting in small groups in homes or parks, with people they know. 

2. Stay constantly vigilant -

When drinking and partying, it’s easy to become relaxed, in fact that is the objective. But we all need to now find a happy medium between relaxation and vigilance, serenity and awareness. When someone you don’t recognize enters the room, make a mental note. Ask a host or organizer how they’re related to the gathering. It’s very easy for strangers to enter a gathering, relatively unnoticed, because everyone assumes they must be someone else’s friend or family member. Don’t assume. Ask. If no one knows who they are, assume the worst and gather a group to confront the intruder or call the police. Even if your suspicions turn out to be wrong, we must err on the side of caution. This is how calamities can be prevented. 

3. Have a plan - Whenever you do have to enter a building, office, airport, restaurant, whatever, get there a little early and scope out an escape route. I know this seems neurotic and paranoid, but it may save your life one day. When violence begins, people’s natural reaction is to huddle in place. The lights are cut, smoke fills the room, screaming and confusion ensue. You have to fight this impulse and speed, like a heat-seeking missile, to the nearest exit. 

4. Report odd behavior - In the most recent incident, (San Bernardino), a neighbor observed that an unusual number of deliveries and suspicious activities were taking place at the condo occupied by the couple that would later kill 14 people at a Community Services center. She thought about reporting what she saw, but was concerned that she might be labeled as a “profiler”, since she knew the occupants to be of Middle Eastern origin. 

We are a polite, empathetic and cautious culture. We want to believe the best about the people in our midst, but it is just this characteristic that puts us at risk. And it’s is a misperception to pin all mass shootings on religious extremism. Many, especially in schools are carried out by young, white men, or even children who suffer from emotional problems. As a society, we need to do a better job of identifying individuals whose perception of reality is becoming distorted, get them the treatment they need and for god sake, keep them away from guns. But that kind of intervention I fear is a long way off. 

Additionally, it’s obvious we cannot count on our dedicated police or intelligence services to keep us safe from every threat. The reality of terrorism and mass murder is ever present, inconspicuous and morphing in unexpected ways. Each person must take personal responsibility for their own safety and that of their family. As Albert Einstein said: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over and expecting a different result. The potential for violence is now present in every country, large and small cities alike. We must meet the challenge by adapting our behavior to make ourselves and those we love less vulnerable. 

 

Shane Eric Mathias

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Plants vs Pets, Which is More Likely to Promote Happiness?

Yes, there certainly are positives to owning a pet: companionship, possibly protection from intruders, etc.

But there are also annoyances, financial costs and risks to your health that accompany living with animals. Here are a few to consider. 

 

 

 

(Later, we’ll talk about the numerous benefits plants bring into your home and life, with very little downside).

1. Disease: Pets can make you sick. It’s true, many people are allergic to pet hair and dander and they may not realize it until they bring their cute little companion home with them. But once the emotional bond is made, it’s often too difficult for new pet owners to back out of the deal, so they suffer with runny nose, itchy eyes and fatigue. 

Furthermore, pets can carry diseases that are transmittable to humans. Round worms and tape worms often infect dogs and some can even bore through your skin. Once inside of your body, they can wreak havoc and cause serious illness. 

 Other very serious conditions that are affecting an increasing number of people across the globe are tick born illnesses like Lyme disease. It is transmitted to humans via tiny mites and spiders and our animals can bring these into our homes, hidden in their fur. While relaxing on the sofa or laying in bed with our pets, we might become unknowingly infected, suffering for months or years with symptoms that are difficult to diagnose. Often by the time Lyme is identified, it is too late. The damage to joints, heart, brain and central nervous system are irreversible. 

 

Fleas in your home? Yes, invariably, if you bring a pet indoors, you will have fleas. If you have carpeting, the infestation can be, well… disgusting! So, you have a choice, to use a flea collar, which may or may not work, especially for large dogs, with lots of body mass, or you can have monthly injections of insecticide, which are indeed poison and will definitely shorten the life of your pet. Either way, you’re introducing toxic chemicals into your home in a dubious effort to control nasty bugs. 

2. Unpredictable Behavior:

Many people regard their pets as almost human, dressing them up in outfits, feeding them at the dinner table and buying them presents for special holidays. But the truth is, pets retain a wild streak, sometimes causing them to react violently for no apparent reason. This violence may be directed at the owner, visitors or passers-by. Even children can become sudden victims and the results can be devastating. 

In 2018 there were 36 fatal dog attacks in the USA. 15 were child victims and 21 were adults. Each year, more than 350,000 dog bite victims are seen in emergency rooms, and approximately 850,000 victims receive medical attention. Data that the CDC collected in the USA between 2001 and 2003 indicated there were 4.5 million dog bite victims per year, but that figure appears to be rising. It’s estimated that as much as 1 billion dollars are paid out to dog bite victims per year, as a result of lawsuits representing a substantial liability for the owner. 

3. The Economic Toll: Aside from all that, pets, like children, require ongoing feeding and care, here are the following average estimates for the cost of owning a dog or cat, according to the ASPCA:

One-time pet expenses

•Spaying or Neutering: Dog: $200 / Cat: $145

•Initial Medical Exam: Dog: $70 / Cat: $130

•Collar or Leash: Dog: $30 / Cat: $10

•Litter Box: Cat: $25

•Scratching Post: Cat: $15

•Crate: Dog: $95

•Carrying Crate: Dog: $60 / Cat: $40

•Training: Dog: $110

•Total One-time Costs: Dog: $565 / Cat: $365

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Annual pet expenses 

• Food: Dog: $120-240/ Cat: $145
• Annual Medical Exams: Dog: $235 / Cat: $130
• Litter: Cat: $200
• Toys and Treats: Dog: $55 / Cat: $25
• License: Dog: $15
• Pet Health Insurance: Dog: $225 / Cat: $175
• Miscellaneous: Dog: $45 / Cat: $30
• Total Annual Costs: Dog: $695 / Cat: $705

Data obtained from the ASPCA

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Now Compare this to owning a plant or having a garden

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Positives: 

Plants in the house 

Create texture, color and beauty

Once planted, they require very little in the way of care. 

Plants help to clean the air and exhale oxygen, keeping the atmosphere fresh

They stay put, rather than tearing apart the sofa in a fit of rage

Plants in the Garden

Improve the value of your home

May add beauty and scent to your outdoor environment

Depending on the variety, many plants produce edible fruits, leaves that can be used as tea, or flowers that can decorate a salad

Large shrubs and trees can provide shade and create privacy for an exposed yard.

Many plants attract local and migratory animals like birds, butterflies and bees, thereby bringing Nature into your life. 

Some plants like Plumeria, Succulents and Cactus, can be regenerated many times over, creating a potential source of income. 

Caring for plants gets you outside, bending, stretching and kneeling. 

Contact with the soil actually promotes positive emotions through an increase in serotonin production. 

Negatives:

Some plants have nasty thorns that can cut or injure unsuspecting passers by

Initial cost for soil, fertilizer and potting materials

Ongoing expense for water, (more or less, depending on the plant).

Periodic expense for certain pests, such as beetles, ants and flies. 

Conclusion:

It’s unlikely that your rosebush is going to uproot itself one day and chase the mailman down the road. And if your favorite Peony dies from lack of water, it’s doubtful that you’ll need to seek therapy to overcome your grief. Overall, the cost/benefit ratio of gardening far outweighs the expense and hassle of owning a pet. Even if you can’t get your Princess Flower to cuddle up in your lap and fall asleep.

-Shane Eric Mathias

 

IS YOUR OWN BRAIN WORKING AGAINST YOU?

Do you often feel that your life is out of control? Maybe you have lived this way most or all of your life and come to believe that it’s normal. Sad, but normal. 

Well, it isn’t. 

Yes, stress is everywhere: at home, at work, family, finances, health challenges, the news… don’t get me started. Modern life certainly presents us with difficult challenges. But what if I told you there is a proven way to meet and manage those challenges much more effectively, with confidence and calmness?

You see, there is not much we can do about the world around us. Even our own family evolves in ways that leave us scratching our heads. The only thing we can control is how we perceive and respond to the issues and events that confront us. 

Yes, I know, you’ve heard it all before: “mind over matter”, “take a deep breath”, “don’t sweat the small stuff”. It all starts to sound so cliche after a while and when push comes to shove, it doesn’t work. Does it?

Why? Because there is more you need to do to change your relationship to the world around you. Change Your Brain!

From the time you were a child, like all of us, your body and brain have been under assault. Some of the damage done was self-inflicted: too much alcohol, too much partying in general, anger, depression from poor or failed relationships. That makes sense right? But there are many other, more subtle things that have a negative, ongoing and long term effect on your command center:

Poor diet

Lack of sleep

Lack of exercise

High blood pressure

Excessive weight

Diabetes

Smoking

Pharmaceutical drugs

Lack of Vitamin D

And the list goes on and on.

We think of the items on the list above as affecting the body, but they also damage the brain. But don’t despair! Recent discoveries have revealed that the brain is malleable, dynamic and able to heal, given the right conditions. And all the things listed above can be fixed, with a little dedication and hard work. And you don’t need me to lecture you on how to accomplish these things, there is lots of literature and online content on improving your diet, getting more exercise, sleep hygiene and so on. You just have to do it. 

But what may surprise you is that when you do, your life actually changes. Stress becomes more manageable, relationships improve, or you find the strength to leave them, your problem solving skills improve immensely and new solutions seem to appear without effort, you have more energy to play, create, entertain, travel, whatever.

 

 
Life suddenly seems fun and enjoyable.

 

You’ll come to realize that while it may indeed be “normal” to feel out of control, it certainly is not optimal. And you don’t have to live that way. 

Improve your health > Improve your brain > Improve your life. 

Start today! 

 

Shane Eric Mathias

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