Happiness Tree

Organic Food from Your Own Backyard? Yes You Can...

After about six months of hard work and planting, we now have an amazing garden that provides hours of happiness as well as delicious fruits and vegetables. 

Share the joy by watching the following short, fun video..

 

What Will Happiness Feel Like In Your Body?

It may seem like an odd question, but for those who have been under stress for years, the body and brain become conditioned to anxiety and worry. All systems recognize this as "normal", such that when another feeling attempts to rise above the fray, the individual senses it as "unfamiliar" and the usual pattern is reestablished.

This insidious and unhealthy condition becomes the invisible bubble through which many see and interact with the world. Unable to feel completely connected to anyone or anything, because fear is the only companion they trust. 

As sad as this sounds, I would bet that many of you either know someone suffering from this perceptual distortion or that you yourself feel trapped in this vicious cycle.

If so, there is good news! There is life after worry and stress and there is a world, just beyond the one you're currently living in where peace and harmony rule the day. But it will take a little "re-patterning" to get you there.

First and foremost, you must take a leap of trust

You must admit you're exhausted from living this way and that you desperately desire to be unchained from the mill wheel of worry. So much so that you're willing to grope in the dark for a while, confident that you will eventually discover a passageway to a new paradigm. 

If you're not there yet, let's discuss some facts

Stress kills. Stress is perhaps the leading and most under diagnosed cause of every major (non-contagious) illness that plagues society today. That would include heart disease, cancer, mental illness, (including Alzheimers and dementia), obesity, diabetes and the list goes on.

While this should be enough to motivate even the most stubborn individual, change is not easy. Living with stress as a constant companion in a way is inherited. Not necessarily genetically (although that may be a component), but inherited though observation of parental behavior. 

Stress Patterns Often Begin in Childhood

If a parent was constantly on the edge and over-reacting to stimuli, the young person's brain begins establishing neural networks to emulate this behavior. Put another way, "monkey see, monkey do". And that type of hard-wired pattern is difficult to break out of, because literally, the sufferer really knows no other way.

So where do you start?

There is indeed some work to do first. That is why you have to be sufficiently motivated, because there will be rough patches, where you will slide back and feel overwhelmed. You must trust that there is a new, better day ahead and stay the course, even when the goal is not yet in sight. What follows are some changes you'll need to consider. 

Stress Producing Relationships

This work is highly individual, depending on your particular situation. Many people living in a stress bubble perceive the world as a dangerous place and believe there is strength and security in numbers. They form alliances with others who perceive the world in a similar way, thereby compounding their own stress as they have now-in a way-assumed responsibility for another person. A person who rather than being an asset, has become a dependent liability. 

This may be a brother, sister, wife, husband, friend, or other co-dependent person. The similar personality styles reinforce each other, making it yet more difficult to make a fresh start. These negative, stress reinforcing relationships must evolve or be brought to a close if any progress is to be made. This can be a scary proposition, understandably and it may require some professional support to gain the necessary confidence to strike out on your own.

Evaluate Your Work and Make Necessary Changes

Other situations that may cause or reinforce stress in our lives are our work environments. Unfortunately, the workplace can bring out the most disgusting and destructive human behaviors. People gossip, form alliances against one another, undermine coworkers reputations by telling lies and so on. These people and situations cannot be changed. What must change is you. These hostile and toxic environments, while very common are not normal or healthy. You must find another more suitable and appropriate work that brings positive things to your life. 

Optimize Health

The person with a healthy body is the one most likely to experience happiness. That is not to say that persons living with chronic conditions like arthritis or other "auto-immune" disorders cannot be happy, indeed they can. But efforts must be made to achieve their best level of health given their circumstances. Once one is on the path towards better health, when "Sustainable Happiness" does begin to develop, often the symptoms of the underlying condition subsides or it may disappear all together. 

To Change your Brain, You Must Change Your Life. And Visa Versa 

Meaning that if you want to bring peace and harmony into your life, you must involve yourself in activities that support it. People who arrive home after work to stressful relationships, then start watching stress producing images on television, then retire to bed, only to toss and turn, feeling tired when they awaken, cannot just make a shift to a better life. They must involve their mind and hands in new positive and productive patterns.

This is why so many people take on a hobby or begin to experiment with art or gardening. It is extremely therapeutic. In many cases, this one change alone can start a cascade of new thoughts and experiences that alter consciousness. You can view yourself from a new perspective. As someone who is capable of success. Someone who can set goals and achieve them. 

 Perhaps the one most important repetitive thought that reinforces stress is "I am powerless". When you come to understand that you are indeed powerful and capable of surprising yourself by acquiring new skills, problems that you once just resigned yourself to suddenly appear surmountable. You begin solving problems rather than just accepting them. 

What does happiness feel like in the body? 

In essence, how will you know you've arrived or are heading in the right direction? When you start feeling different in your body. We think of stress as a mental condition, yet it not only affects but also resides in the body. Therefore, when stress begins to dissipate, a lightness arises within us. We may awaken to a strange feeling: the absence of negative thoughts.

But before that happens, the mind becomes clear and this opens up a new world of awareness. Suddenly, you look outside and recognize it's a beautiful day. Many similar days may have passed you by and no such observation was made. But now, it hits you: Life is good! Maybe you'll go for a walk or start on a creative project. A new source of energy becomes apparent and as a result, more seems possible. 

Then the awareness descends from the mind into the body. The pain and discomfort that was once a constant has moved out. What replaces it at first, feels like and uncomfortable void. Then you realize: this is how I was meant to feel. Relaxed, calm, energetic yet not neurotic. The thought arises to pinch yourself. Perhaps this is a dream state or some chemical imbalance has altered reality. Yet the wonderful truth is, you have finally emerged from the altered state you thought was real. This is actually life as it was meant to be lived.

And now that you have experienced it, you don't ever have to go back to your previous tortured existence. You are free. 

Doesn't it feel great? 

Shane Eric Mathias is the author of the groundbreaking new book, "The Happiness Tree", now available through all online book retailers.

Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords

 

 

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What is a True Friend? A Video Journey

  

Our Jamaican Adventure

 

The mixed blessing of travel brings with it the possibility of a perfect memory or the disappointment of an abject failure. That is what makes it an adventure. In most cases, the overall experience falls somewhere in the broad middle, as was the case with our Jamaican vacation.

Ours began at 3 AM on Monday. We had put off packing until the night before and collapsed into bed at 11:30 pm. With barely 3 hours of sleep the next morning, we downed something resembling a breakfast, gathered our bags and alerted a Lyft driver to pick us up at 3:45. 

Getting to the airport

This was our first time using an app on my phone to arrange a taxi ride, but we were reassured that it couldn’t be easier. I downloaded the app, put in my credit card information and saw that even at the witching hour of 4am, there were drivers within 8 minutes of my home, ready to whisk us off to the airport. 

I was still beyond skeptical, but when our driver, Issam showed up in front of our house right on the dot, I became an instant believer. He was a polite and courteous gentleman that made what could have been a hectic rush to the airport, pleasant and worry free. 

Flying to Jamaica from California on American Airlines always requires a connecting flight, either in Dallas or Miami. This early morning flight from San Diego, surprisingly would be full but we left right on time at 6:20 am. 

Flying these days is kind of like traveling in an airborne cattle car. God forbid if you’re tall, overweight or have joint problems and cannot sit motionless for long periods. You are going to be uncomfortable. It’s a given. But the connection in Dallas went off without a hitch and by 3:42pm, Jamaican time, we were touching down in Montego Bay. 

Jamaica is a world apart. Once in Jamaica, you’re on Jamaican time and playing by Jamaican rules. And there are lots of rules. This may be true of traveling to any country abroad, but if you forget your passport or bring only the card, rather than the book, they will abruptly send you back. Can you imagine? After all that planning and hassle, to finally arrive only to be told you have to get your butt back on the plane and go home. Thank god that was not our fate. 

Package deals

Our package featured an all inclusive stay at a popular resort in Montego Bay. But “all inclusive” does not mean the same everywhere. One would expect that those paying premium prices, should receive premium service, but Jamaica is for all intents and purposes still a 3rd world country. 

Your expectations may not be fulfilled, even if they are clearly stated on your itinerary. Because the one in charge of making that happen is standing at the counter in front of you. And if he or she is having a bad day or doesn’t like the look of your t-shirt, you’re out of luck. In some countries, a monetary incentive, known in legal vernacular as “a bribe” may bridge the gap between what you want and what the employee is willing to provide. Whether that would have worked in this case, I have no idea. 

In many countries around the world, whose economies fail to meet the basic needs of their respective populations, there is certainly an underground currency that is fueled by money, goods and services changing hands off the record, under the table or behind closed doors. If you’re not willing to participate in this dark market, you may spend a lot of time standing around and complaining; being gouged, misled or even lied to. 

The one alternative currency is kindness and it’s not hard to understand why. Because, most assuredly envy and bitterness lurks in the consciousness of those living in these impoverished nations. Especially when they are treated badly by tourists who may spend more on a single vacation than they earn in an entire year.

When you view your service personnel from this perspective, it becomes much easier to tolerate less than perfect treatment now and again. 

Trinkets everywhere

One other symptom of an impoverished country is the fact that a large portion of the population is either unemployed or at the very least, underemployed and desperate to receive the much needed assistance that tourist dollars can provide. 

And once you leave the illusory confines of the resort and begin walking the streets, you are descended upon by hordes of independent marketeers that attempt to engage you in conversation in order to interest you in buying some trinket which is often described as handmade by local artisans, but which most likely in fact was manufactured by the thousands in China. 

However, much more seductive than their wares are the emotions that are conjured up when you witness the kindness they exude, even in the midst of their desperate circumstances. It’s very hard to walk away without feeling a tug on your heart strings. 

But the need is so great and your travel budget often so small, that shrewdness must rule the day. It quickly becomes essential to learn how to say NO. This is the unfortunate reality today in many parts of the world, where so many go hungry or suffer for lack of proper shelter or healthcare. And Jamaica is no exception.

Dunn's River Falls

On the brighter side, Jamaica is a beautiful island. And perhaps because of the absence of “big money” much of the forest, river system and coastline remain relatively unaltered. Venturing into these pristine areas can offer wondrous adventure, but also a degree of danger. So when small excursion companies create a way to engage Nature, while minimizing the risks, memorable experiences can be had. 

One such opportunity can be found at Dunn’s River Falls, near the town of Ocho Rios. The town is so named because it boasts eight rivers that run nearby. Three of these rivers run all year long and one is called Dunn’s River. When you enter the grounds, you are surrounded by a beautiful tropical forest. The roar of the nearby waterfall accompanies you all the way down to the starting point, where you can partake in an adventure that may be unique in all the world. 

Along with perhaps twenty other persons, from all over the world and all walks of life, we were greeted and instructed by an energetic and charismatic young man who would be our guide. 

The task? To hike from the bottom of the waterfall, 620 feet to the top, while being completely soaked by the descending torrent. All joking aside, without the expert instruction and support of our guide, such a stunt would indeed be dangerous and foolish. But holding each other’s hand, we all slowly made our way up the twisting and turning cascade, assisted by our water shoes, which we bought in town and which are in fact mandatory for participation in the adventure. To be honest, we both lost our balance and got a little bruised up. But it was a small price to pay for such a rare and exhilarating treat. 

Transportation on the island

Jamaica is also a big island and getting around is not easy. There are taxis everywhere and if you’re staying in a resort, the resident drivers will impose stiff fees and time limits on your travel. Therefore, it pays to venture outside to find other drivers who will give you a better deal. 

To provide you an idea what you can expect to pay, on the day we traveled to the falls, we were picked up by a driver we were introduced to the day before by a shop owner. He already knew our plan for the day and assured us he would remain at our service throughout, as we made our way from our hotel to the falls and back. 

The trip is about an hour and a half each way, from Montego Bay to Ocho Rios. We spent a couple of hours at the falls, after which, he picked us up and and drove us to lunch. When he returned us to our lodging 5 hours later and for all this attention, we paid him $120 U.S., or about $24 per hour. 

Renting a car? Not a good idea...

If you're thinking that renting a car would be a viable option, let me caution you! I'm not even sure they are available, but even if so, Jamaicans drive on the left side of the road, as they do in all of England. If you have never piloted a vehicle from-what would be considered in many countries-the passenger seat, I don't recommend trying it in Jamaica.

Traffic can be heavy and local drivers pay little attention to rules of the road, passing on the left, right, middle, where ever they can. Pedestrians cross without warning and getting lost is a real possibility. Having an accident in Jamaica could quickly become a nightmare. Trust me, it's worth it to pay a little extra and leave the driving to someone more familiar with the peculiarities of their system. 

Jamaican money and exchange rates

Though the Jamaican dollar does exist and has a current exchange rate with he U.S dollar of about 120 to 1, it is rarely used. The U.S. dollar on the other hand, is accepted everywhere and is preferred by merchants. But as prices may appear in either currency it is useful to keep the exchange rate in mind when negotiating with those with whom you transact business, as this will help you determine whether you are receiving a fair deal. 

Make sure the bring a mixture of $20, $10, $5 and $1 bills with you. Street merchants are loathe to give change, presumably with the hope that you will accept another trinket in exchange or leave the remainder as a tip. Having the right change will remedy this problem. 

Who are the Jamaicans?

The native residents of Jamaica are descended from African slaves brought in first by the Spanish and later, the British to harvest sugar cane, which remains an important, export commodity for the island, albeit, less so than in the past. 

During their enslavement, they developed a unique dialect called Patua, in order to communicate without being understood by their slave masters. This language is still spoken today by all native Jamaicans, as well as English. This blending of dialects: British English and Patua, infuses their conversation with a charming accent. Common phrases Jamaicans will use with visitors are “yamon” (yes). “nomon”, (no) “one love”, (a salutation used when parting ways), “evryting good”, (it’s all good).

And they are a charming people, ready with a smile, an offer of assistance or a compliment, even when there is no monetary incentive. 

They are naturally friendly and generous and we felt perfectly safe walking around “The Hip Strip”, a part of Montego Bay set aside for tourists. 

That is to say that the casual visitor should not just venture off into other parts of the city by themselves. Most of the islands residents are poor and desperate. As a result, crime is high and tourist that wander thoughtlessly into residential neighborhoods, do so assuming a high degree of risk. Therefore, having a driver who speaks the local dialect, understands the culture and knows which areas are safe, can make the difference between having a pleasant vacation and suffering an unexpected calamity. 

What about Kingston?

Though we did not make the three hour drive from Montego Bay to Kingston, I understand that cruise ships often arrive there. If your group approaches the island from this side, you’ll be given several hours to peruse shops within a prescribed area and strongly discouraged from venturing outside those parameters into the outlying neighborhoods. This is good advice which should be followed for the reasons given earlier. 

Resorts and what you can expect to pay

Now I will tell you about our stay. Websites abound now offering deals on travel. Buyer beware, as some deals are indeed too good to be true. It is highly recommended to stay with well known, reputable travel purveyors that maintain a record of standing behind their service. We booked 5 nights and 6 days at a popular resort, in Montego Bay. The total cost for round trip flight from California, lodging and all inclusive meals and drinks for two persons was under $2000. 

All inclusive not the same everywhere

We have done a fair amount of travel and come to expect a certain aesthetic and level of service with all inclusive packages, but as I mentioned earlier, not all such packages are created equal. We encountered Byzantine rules for making dinner reservations and a dress code which seemed pretentious for an island resort, where the humidity and aquatic activities dictate shorts and tank tops, rather than pants and collared shirts as the most practical attire. 

We found shampoo in the room, but no conditioner. Bottled water had to be purchased from the souvenir shop before 6pm, as it was not provided by the staff. The landline phone did not work, despite three requests to have it fixed. And construction down the hall made our room all but uninhabitable during the daytime hours. 

But one observant manager took pity on us and secured a much better room with a phone that worked and that was far from the chatter of the jack hammer. Additionally, it was an upgrade with a ocean front balcony and an excellent air conditioner. But this change occurred sadly only two days before our scheduled departure. Our enjoyment would have been enhanced if this had been our room all along. 

Having said that, this dated resort had it’s own funky charm, more than adequate food quality and stupendous entertainment. Something we had not counted on. Among the evening acts taking place on their large outdoor stage were amazing singers and dancers. During the day, DJ’s played a wide variety of great music. Music which I have not heard played in the States in many years. I wondered where all the great music of the 60’s 70’s and 80’s went. Now I know, it lives in Jamaica. 

Jamaicans love music and play it constantly. But surprisingly absent is the mind numbing rap which has all but taken over the airwaves in American cities. Instead, ballads from the likes of Willie Nelson, Adele, Elton John and of course the king of Reggae, Bob Marley waft out of vehicles, storefronts and bicycle mounted boom boxes.  This had the effect of making me feel very much at home. 

It is incredible how the presence of the right musical accompaniment can add a sentimental dimension to any experience. 

How about the weather?

The weather in Jamaica, indeed in all of the Caribbean is usually hot and muggy. Even in May, when we traveled, we found the temperature to be in the mid to high 80’s and the humidity a pervasive companion, except when air conditioning is present, as it was in our room. Retiring there several times a day to rest and recuperate can extend your energy and stamina. But one eventually becomes acclimated to the conditions and I began to feel exhilarated by the sun’s energy. 

The constant daytime activity of most vacations can cause us to forget to drink sufficient water. This might not be an issue in a milder climate, but in the tropics, you can soon become dehydrated. Be sure to carry water, where ever you go and drink it often. If headaches and exhaustion suddenly overtake you, chances are you haven’t consumed enough liquids. You’ll need to slow down and get rehydrated.

Before you go...

There is so much more of Jamaica that remains for us to see. We learned about additional places we would have liked to visit during our stay, but the lack of affordable transportation and time prevented us from exploring as much as we would have liked. In retrospect, I wish we had done more research before our vacation began on places we wanted to see and set aside more capital for transportation. But alas, this is the unpredictable nature of travel and at the very least, serves as an incentive to return someday to continue our adventure. 

Feel free to hit me up for questions about Jamaica and our trip in particular. I highly recommend this tropical odyssey as a way to dip your feet in the clarity, warmth and beauty of the Caribbean. 

 

Shane Eric Mathias