About a decade ago, I had recently sold my parents’ home. It had been paid off for years and so the proceeds were entirely profit. I had the better part of a million dollars in the bank.
Other than that, my life was a mess. I had many health problems, I was entangled in a legal issue that threatened to curtail my freedom and I was in a loveless marriage that was disintegrating. I feared that the proceeds from my parents’ home would become fair game for my wife’s lawyer once we began divorce proceedings.
Based on the dollar amount in my bank account, I could buy any car I wanted, I could take multiple trips around the world, I could relocate to a tropical island and live like a king for the rest of my life. But, given the reality of my health and legal problems, I was forced to stand and fight for my future. And as it turned out, much of the money did in fact go to satisfy legal issues, to pay for divorce settlements and to cover my living expenses during that time when I was too encumbered by such problems to hold down a job. I managed to save enough to put a down payment on a home.
I now live on a fixed income, but I have learned to manage my money in such a way that I can live as I please and even set aside money for travel. I am in a wonderful relationship, stay busy with creative projects and gardening. I am happier than I have ever been and it has nothing to do with how much money I have.
The point here is, when one aspect of a person’s life is
viewed out of context, it distorts the reality of their actual experience.
Here is a general rule about money and happiness that applies to all of humanity
"It is essential to have just enough money to not worry about
how bills will be paid or how to keep our belies full".
Below that line, stress and worry rob us of the emotional freedom to be happy. Above that line, other less tangible qualities like attitude, health, relationships, work satisfaction and self esteem begin to play a larger role in our overall life satisfaction”.
I have known several millionaires and many with 6 figure incomes. Here is what I have observed:
• They continue to work in spite of having plenty of money. Why? Because a healthy human spirit seeks opportunities for achievement and recognition. They need a purpose; a reason to get up in the morning and be useful or of value to others.
• They question whether friends are sincere, or just hoping some of that wealth will rub off on them. So they often associate with other rich people who don’t need their money. But those relationships are often shallow and superficial.
• Satisfying relationships often elude them. Wealth often creates dangerous liaisons. Wealthy persons are constantly approached by attractive interlopers, seeking a ride on their coat tails. These “gold diggers” can be very seductive, feigning affection while developing long-term plans to feather their nest at the expense of others. Money brings all kinds of young and beautiful people into your sphere that may not have the best of intentions.
• They struggle with how to raise their children. Should the spoil them with free tuition, cars, travel and homes, or compel them build character through tough love, by motivating them to learn the skills and discipline necessary to succeed on their own?
Here is the philosophy I live by with regard to money and happiness:
Rather than worrying about creating ever larger pot of financial resources, learn to live well within the resources you have. Chances are you’ll sleep better, have stronger, more meaningful relationships, higher quality children, more sincere friendships and ultimately a happier life than many who are burdened by heavier wallets.
-Shane Eric Mathias
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