Happiness Tree

Technology and the Temptation of Digital Drugs

It was September 11. 1977. A new company named Atari came out with the first home based video game console called the Atari VCS (Video Computer System). This was later renamed the Atari 2600. Prior to this, video games were only available in arcades or as novelty items in bars, restaurants and bowling alleys. But now that a household could easily turn their television into a computer monitor, children and adults left behind old family pastimes like Frisbee, Marco Polo, tag football, cards, Monopoly and checkers, which promoted exercise, personal engagement with others, in favor of being mesmerized by moving dots on a screen. 

I remember coming to family gatherings such as Christmas or Thanksgiving, which were attended by not only our nuclear family, but older folks, grandmothers, aunts and uncles that by virtue of geography or gerontology, were seen infrequently. When they arrived, their primary interest was to see and interact with the youngest members of the family. To see how they'd grown, discuss their evolving interests and hopefully, pass along some hard won wisdom as a legacy to future generations. But once that console was installed, those conversations ceased to exist. The children would barely look up at their elders, begrudgingly tolerating a kiss on the cheek before returning their laser focus to that all important game. 

Parents would attempt to admonish their children "Say hello to Aunt Mabel" or "Put that thing down and visit with your Grandma!" But to no avail. The addiction was all consuming and we didn't even recognize this as a watershed moment and what it portended for the future of humanity. 

Those games became more sophisticated and migrated from the television screen to a new device called a computer. Then came cell phones, which were initially intended only to free us from the telephone appliance on the wall or desk. But eventually they began to incorporate other features, such as calculators, calendars, alarms and of course, games, for those long waits a the bus stop or to pass time on the commode. 

The computer and the cell phone continued to evolve separately, to become ever more important components of modern life. Then, on January 2, 2007, at the MacWorld Convention, Steve Jobs of Apple announced the introduction of the iPhone. With this device, one could have all or most of the benefits of a computer and a phone in one hand-held miracle. The positive and negative impact that this pivotal development has had on humanity is still being digested and calculated. But it must be emphasized that hand held digital devices have become the most ubiquitous and under-appreciated addiction plaguing society today. As a result, our societies  have become less social, less physically active, more depressed, more suicidal and less literate than at any time since the industrial revolution. 

Granted, access to information and the ability to connect with persons across the globe has transformed education, business and social intercourse. But information is not knowledge and connection is not necessarily communication; texting is not writing and receiving sound bytes is not reading. 

The Overall Impact on Children is Negative

In the era before cell phones, groups of kids heading to and from school, in malls, theme parks and neighborhood events could be seen in groups, laughing, goofing off and actually talking to each other. Now, after hand held devices have become as common as backpacks, kids walk alone, or in pairs. But rather than talking to each other, they saunter with their heads down, psychically linked with whatever is appearing on the screen of their phone. More than likely, its Facebook, Snapchat or some other social media application. 

Honestly, these applications should be renamed "Anti-Social Media". Not only because of their seductive and divisive influence on developing minds, but because they are so often used to disrespect, shame, bully and isolate youngsters. Certainly, bullying and spreading rumors between classmates is nothing new. Childhood is full of painful and difficult lessons regarding the cruelty of people toward each other. But when a lie, a shameful statement or a hurtful impression about an individual is sent with surgical precision to all of his or her friends, with the click of a button, that is a weapon that delivers a sometimes deadly blow to the self esteem and fragile confidence of a vulnerable child. 

Suicides Far Too Common in Children. Is Social Media to Blame?

Suicides are always a tragedy, but especially when they occur in children. From the years 1999-2015, one child under 13 died from suicide every 5 days on average or about 13 per 100,000 children. The stats are also not good for adolescents from 13-17 years of age, with 7 per 100,000 dying during that same study period. 

Now certainly not all of these tragic events can be traced to computers, phones and social media, but the spike does conspicuously correlate with the rise in popularity of these devices and their associated apps. Take note that while still unacceptable, the rates for more mature children is half of that for those under 13. This would suggest an intellectual development in this age group, providing more tools with which to diffuse the impact of bullying or shaming on social media. It may also suggest a reduction in these incidents, given more involvement in extracurricular activities, such as sports, scouting and academic endeavors. 

The Impact on Society is Mixed

One of the intuitive assumptions about the proliferation of digital technology is that it would "bring the world together". Nonetheless, racial and ethnic tensions still rage in many developed and underdeveloped societies and the already topsy turvy world of politics and industry has become even more so with the revelation that rogue governments and hackers are are using digital conduits and social media to hack into our increasingly cyber based information infrastructures and voting systems.

These nefarious entities are even creating fake accounts on Twitter and Facebook to sew divisions in the electorate, potentially influencing the political leanings of the undecided and hardening the resolve of those on the fringes of the political spectrum. 

Furthermore, Airlines, Entertainment companies, Utilities, and entire municipal governments have had their operations grind to a halt when hackers successfully gained access to their files and operating systems. Sometimes these breaches were used to extort money from the entities involved, who in most cases, were forced to pay a ransom to regain their files. Other such events may be even more troubling, suggesting the involvement of disruptive governments, targeting states or companies that do not align with their political objectives.

I suppose this could be the digital equivalent of sending anthrax (a deadly biological poison), in a letter addressed to a government official or industry leader. There is certainly no perfect system or one in which all the security gaps can be patched or controlled. But there is far more we can do as a society to influence the impact of digital technology on all of our citizens and critical operations. 

We Need a General Intervention

The term "intervention" was co-opted during the drug-addled 70's to describe when friends and family would gather secretly to gang up on and hopefully force a loved one to confront and deal with his or her addiction to a substance or relationship. And as we careen headlong into an increasingly automated and digitized future, we must begin to deal with the the known and still unknown effects of inserting technology into virtually every aspect of our daily lives.

Science has studied the disease of addiction in the human mind for the purpose of helping those afflicted learn to manage their cravings and impulses. But for a very different reason, technology developers have also probed deep into the collective psyche of Humanity to understand how to use addiction as a tool to make their devices and applications seem indispensable.

If you were to take cigarettes away from a smoker for even a few hours, a series of predictable responses would set in. Some psychological and some physical. These response by an addict to the denial of an addictive substance, relationship or activity is called "withdrawal". The same dependency can be seen in those who've bonded to their device or to the habit of checking their Facebook account a dozen times an hour for an example. When an idea or a product can be so seductive, so alluring that its users cannot get enough, it can then be used to "mainline" all kinds of advertising and propaganda right past our filters, directly into our subconscious, where it has the potential to alter the way we think, speak and act. 

This is what is alleged to have happened during our most recent Presidential election. Offshore hackers, probably supported by State sponsors began using the "virtual reality" of apps like Facebook and Twitter to gain access to the thought centers of vulnerable users, causing them to not even question the validity or authenticity of what they read or saw. Those who read these postings would then resend or repost them to their friends and followers. These successive waves of duplications and reiterations employed techniques originally engineered by media gurus to quickly and effectively influence the behaviors of millions of people, with the click of a mouse or a keypad. This may have in fact been the key factor in the underground tsunami that swept a most unlikely candidate (Donald Trump), into office. Even the most seasoned campaign watchers were caught with their pants down when it was announced he had eclipsed Hilary Clinton: A far more experienced, albeit ethically troubled candidate. 

Whether you support the result of our election or not is irrelevant to this discussion. What is at stake is the methods by which minds may have been changed and outcomes may have been altered. Not through conventional means, such as individuals physically coming together in a town hall meeting or restaurant or to discuss their views and air their differences, but rather through the hijacking of our very minds for the purpose of seeding dissent among us. Do we really want to be used as pawns to further the causes of ideological entities that have no real interest in our prosperity or happiness?

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Bringing it All Together

The cover of Juliet B. Schor's book "Born to Buy", begs the question, what can be done to preserve the integrity and sanctity of our minds and those of our children from the onslaught of marketers, demagogues and fanatics? How can we preserve the majesty of human consciousness rather than offering it up as a virtual billboard to the highest bidder?

By beginning to recognize what we have bought into. Under the guise of convenience, enhancement of communication and access to a global audience, we've exposed our most precious resource: Our Minds, and made them vulnerable to dominance by those whose only interest is the selling of an idea or a product.

And the youngest among us are those most at risk. It takes many years of sculpting, refining and nurturing to help a child become a successful adult. If we allow technology to usurp the role of parents, families and academic institutions, entire generations may be unable to make a decision or have a conversation without the assistance of their essential devise or application.

Will the concept of independent thought be relegated to a quaint notion from the past? If so, how will humanity distinguish between love and hate, good and bad, right and wrong? Are we doomed to follow whatever our phones tell us to do? Sadly, many children ended their lives when compelled to do so, via their phones, by their so called "Facebook friends". 

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Here are some suggestions that may help to defend us
and our future from the steamroller of technology:

•Restrict children's access to phones and social media applications 
While it is true that parents now depend on phones to keep them connected with their kids during the day, in what seems like a world far more threatening to children, that does not necessarily need to include internet access.

Stress to children that the phone is for emergency use only and is not a toy. Nor is it to be used to call friends during school hours. Cell phone options can be easily customized by parents to include only the features you want your children to have and to exclude the ones you don't

• Make sure a child's computer is used for school work and not to access social media
You must insist that the computer is a tool to research and complete homework assignments. Be sure that you have administrative control over what is viewed and downloaded to that device and that you can access and review it at any time. If unwanted applications are found or internet history reveals visits to "restricted sites", there must be consequences.

Unfortunately constant surveillance is required to protect tender minds from the corrupting influence of social media. 

• Spend time with your child learning on the computer.
Rather than using the computer as a babysitter, spend time with your child using the computer as a teaching tool. Help them learn to access the positive attributes of the world wide web, rather than the darker ones they are likely to be drawn to. Watch animal videos, read children's stories from e-books, play games together that promote shared experiences rather than solitary ones. 

•Take inventory of your own computer and cell phone use
When you're around children, ensure you're not setting a bad example by allowing phone calls and texts to rob you of precious time together. Children may initially become angry at and frustrated by parents who prioritize time on the phone over time together. But later, they will model that behavior and throw it in your face if you admonish them to be more considerate. 

• Subject matter and duration of video games must be monitored.
Many computer games now incorporate sophisticated graphics that mimic real life. The most popular games unfortunately involve violence and even killing. The young person's mind is very vulnerable to being programmed by real and imagined events occurring around them. And while there is not yet a consensus on the role war based video games may play in the promotion of violent thoughts and behaviors, even a small chance that your child becomes numb to the suffering of others is too great a risk to take. 

• The greatest antidote to the temptation of virtual reality is Nature. 


The Natural world will always be cool!
The boundless creativity, mystery, beauty and sensory stimulation available exceeds anything that will ever be experienced in the virtual world.

Start early to expose children to nature. No matter where you live, even in the inner city, Nature's opportunities to intrigue and engage begin just beyond your doorstep. Birds, bugs, rocks, plants, rain, snow, sunsets, clouds, oceans and lunar eclipses, to say nothing of the science that struggles to understand and explain it all.

 ---It is important that a child understands:
The real world is not made up of pixels and bytes ---

Assemble a small garden. Even if it's on a balcony and get them involved in managing it. They will see for themselves that caring for something really can produce amazing results. Read books on Nature together; watch science programs, go on field trips. Heck, you might even learn something yourself.

It is important that a child understand that the world is not really made up of pixels and bytes, videos and emoticons, but rather is a magical and profoundly fascinating place that he or she can retreat to when the din of humanity exceeds their tolerance.

Nature is the TRUE REALITY not the virtual kind. And understanding the difference provides a child with a much broader knowledge base from which to find answers to inevitable questions like "Why do I exist?" and "What is my purpose?" 

When the digital world frustrates and disappoints, as it does, repeatedly, knowing that there is a REAL world that is honest, authentic, compassionate and ever-lasting will be a source of great solace. 

-Shane Eric Mathias

 

 

How Do Children Learn the Skills Necessary to Form Successful Relationships?

Children learn more by example than from the spoken word. It would be difficult to communicate to a child, who has no previous relationship experience the concepts of respect, freedom of expression, shared values, support, etc. But, interestingly, they can understand when those qualities are lacking in their parents, even if they cannot articulate exactly what is wrong or how they know it to be so.

Therefore, those who have children or are in a position to influence them and who care about their intellectual and emotional development, need to examine their own relationships and how those not only determine the course of their own lives, but how they set either a positive or negative example for the young, impressionable minds in their midst.

One unfortunate side effect of a child's miraculous learning ability is that even when they observe cruel, abusive or anti-social behavior and recognize it as wrong, they nonetheless begin to lay down patterns in their own developing mind that may cause them to later replicate those behaviors. This sets up the adolescent or young adult for emotional and relational problems down the road. He may engage in bad behavior, knowing its wrong and only later admonish himself for it… "Why did I do that?"

In and ideal world, society would aspire to modeling "The Golden Rule" as the archetype for successful relations. But when parents lack the capacity to act with integrity and compassion in their own relationships, they run the risk of passing on their bad behavior, like a virus to their impressionable child.  When that child reaches adolescence, he may find within himself a stranger, someone he does not like and cannot understand. This ambivalence is at the core of much adolescent and young adult angst, leading to toxic attachments that in some way resemble relationships from their dysfunctional childhood, laying the groundwork for potential drug abuse or other forms of self harm. 

It may take many years for the individual to unravel and correct the complex web of learned behaviors, internal stories and dysfunctional patterns that has led to their inability to bond successfully to self and others.

How Can Adults Excel at Helping Children Build Successful Relationships?

Teach children by example. Examine your own behavior and relationships. Understand that by exposing children to irrational drama, emotional friction, abuse and manipulation, we are programming them to act out those behaviors later in their own lives. Though unintentional, this is a cruel thing to do to a young mind.

When one decides to either have children or work closely with them, whether one-on-one or in groups, it must be understood, every word, every action has consequences. Every disingenuous act is setting up a duality in the developing mind of the child observing that behavior. Potentially driving a wedge between their pure, unadulterated soul and the outer self, through which they will one day engage the world.

In Buddhism it has been understood for centuries that we achieve Nirvana through the integration of our inner and outer selves. This may explain how we are naturally drawn to those rare individuals whose persona shines from a deep, tranquil inner core and repulsed by others who present a facade of disorganized and conflicting patterns.

Ultimately, if what we want is to pass along to our children a true faith in themselves, an understanding of healthy boundaries, a sense of integrity, a value for kindness and an ability to create and maintain healthy relationships, then it is incumbent upon us to work towards those qualities in our own lives.

All too often, becoming a parent is the universal impetus for finally getting our life together. 

-Shane Eric Mathias